From Trauma to Love
Understanding trauma is understanding where our lives began...
In the earliest stages of life, we need to feel in our heart that our primary basic needs are being met and that we’re being nourished to grow and reach our potential.
How do I know if I am disconnected with myself?
When we only orient and validate ourselves towards others – their dramas and what they do to us; when we fulfil others’ wishes and make our bodies available to please them; when we cannot hold our true voice in front of others and live by what is important to us; when our emotions run our lives and overwhelm us; when we live in our heads and not in our body and heart; when we live two lives – one inside and one outside ourselves, we are not fully present and integrated in ourselves.
We dispense with our power and our vital energy life force.
Consciously or unconsciously, we give ourselves away and disconnect from our true heart. Over time, this gives us a sensation of disappearing from our centre and provokes a huge level of anxiety. We experience fragmentation of the self and the soul; we start losing ourselves in a subtle way.
Reclaiming yourself, your body, your voice – the healthiest version of you – requires presence, determination and conviction. It also requires an experienced therapist who can hold up a clear and honest mirror for you to regain clarity and a sense of direction in your mind and connect with the essence of you: your self love.
Was it what I wanted? Was I loved? Was I safe? Was I protected
If you reach inside yourself and your answer to any of these questions is ‘No’, this reveals your original trauma experienced as a helpless, utterly dependent baby or child. The result of this original blueprint (trauma) is a keen sense of rejection leading to isolation. As a consequence, we close our heart at a very early stage. This affects every stage of our development as we grow up and leaves an immense empty hole, an inability to discover and explore our deeper self. This, in turn, affects our sense of belonging to ourselves, our perception of our surroundings and how we relate to the world. You may find yourself asking:
Who am I really inside?
Who am I in this world?
This leads to the question of how you were affected as a child and who are you now: an adult with a set personality created to protect you from past pain. Your body remembers. Discovering your trauma is understanding your neurophysiology and the side effects trauma has imprinted in your subconscious nervous system that regulate your life choices today.
Reclaiming yourself, your body, your voice – the healthiest version of you – requires presence, determination and conviction. It also requires an experienced therapist who can hold up a clear and honest mirror for you to regain clarity and a sense of direction in your mind and connect with the essence of you: your self love.
People experience trauma at different stages of their lives.
The trauma at birth
The trauma of identity
The trauma of love
The trauma of relating to others
The trauma of sexuality
The trauma of non-protection
Existential trauma
The perpetrator – victim dynamic in relationships
The degree of damage depends on how healthy or unhealthy our parents were with us as humans, their personal trauma, the society we lived in, the religion we grew up with, the politics we were required to obey and the past generational trauma our parents transferred to us. Trauma is passed down as a subconscious energy and, for many, in an unhealthy form of love. Family drama is no more than trauma enacted in different ways.
We know now that trauma bonds with trauma and repeats itself to heal; our early attachment patterns play a big part in the interrupting or repairing of our primary early connections. If not resolved inside us, it can lead to an unstable, unhealthy life. Constantly living in survival mode leads to serious physical trauma, mental health issues, CPTSD, chronic immune conditions, harm and even death.
To heal and integrate your life process with your body, or rather, to understand the dimension of the different traumas listed above, you need to work on yourself – your inner being – with a brave heart, a free will and a willingness to learn to be close to your true self and reconnect to your body. All these must become the priority for your grounding and healing.
In other words, take your trauma seriously.
Your body is holding your story, emotions and sensations. Your body remembers who you truly are before you became disconnected and got lost in translation. It remembers the essence of you. Your body holds your vital life energy force, your soul.
From trauma to healing - finding true love
Transformation happens when you say ‘Yes’ to yourself and are willing to take full responsibility and accountability for your past trauma, your personality, your losses and lessons, and to finally live in: Healthy energy flow, Healthy love, Healthy autonomy, Healthy boundaries, Healthy relationships, and recognise: What you need, What you want, How you feel, Hearing your own voice and standing by it.
In this process of reconstruction, it’s important to see yourself with honesty and compassion. Only then will you be able to reclaim your integrity, self-dignity and strength.
My offerings are based on my personal experience of my path to reconstruction and healing. I am happy to share what I have learnt to help you rediscover your true self.
Please explore my site and find the door that leads to your inner journey of waking yourself back home.
A journey to fall in love with your true self!